Saturday, January 27, 2007

Snarky alert!

If you're not in the mood for snarky, read no further. 'Cause this just makes me boil.

Check out The Modesty Survey. I'm sure they mean well, and I'm truly not impugning their motives when I say this, but what are they thinking? How can this not turn into anything other than a list of arbitrarily defined rules drawn from a statistically invalid survey? Is this really anything more than one more stick to beat women over the head with? As if we all don't get beat over the head enough with the modesty stick and the submission stick enough already?

I am an ardent supporter of modest dressing for men and women, but I hate hate HATE the overemphasis on female modesty to the virtual exclusion of male responsibility. (And for the record, I'm not accusing the Harris brothers of doing this. I'm not.) It's a murky, self-defeating path. No matter what a girl wears or doesn't wear, somebody somewhere could "stumble." What are we supposed to do? Never come out of the house and--for goodness sake stay away from the windows!

Women ought to dress modestly because it reflects their worth as children of God. Women ought to dress modestly because it strikes one more blow against the sick idea of women as sex objects. Women out to dress modestly because it'll help keep at least some of the creeps away. And women ought not to intentionally provoke lustful thoughts in men not their husbands because that kind of behavior doesn't reflect the kind of love the body of Christ is supposed to demonstrate.

But strangely enough, the only one of those principles that gets taught and emphasized is that last one. The one that takes all the responsibility off of the men. The one that makes all women subject to the frailities of all men and in doing so makes all women subject to all men.

OK, breathe....

The following bit of genius, I'm afraid I can't lay claim to, but I was lucky enough to get permission to post it up.

What if ....we get turned on by a man in jeans that ride low on his hips or a tshirt that pulls across a broad back? Would we dare ask them not to dress that way JUST IN CASE they came across a girl that struggled with looking at nice figures? Would we ask them to wear their hair sloppy or not wear the latest fashions so we wouldn't be tempted to look? MEN--don't brush your teeth...cuz ya know what...I like a fresh mouth with pearly whites. I might actually look twice and think "nice teeth , cute lips." and you know where THAT will lead! Yessir...I will most likely SIN in my thoughts about your nice teeth and cute lips...and you don't want to make a sister "stumble" do you? And those forearms and manly hands!! What a serious weakness that is to many women I know. We'll often whisper to one another "Did you see his forearms ? They were huge! And his hands! *sigh* So handsome. Just a light dusting of hair." Men, did you know this was a big thing for us? And since you are so concerned with us girls covering up to keep men from 'stumbling' need to award us the same favors. Heaven knows when I see man's hands, I just can't stop thinking about them all day. It would help if you wore gloves. Seriously..cuz then we wouldn't see your man hands and we wouldn't be tempted. And the forearm thing...wear long sleeves. Even in summer. I know how you hate to do that in summer time...but all those muscle shirts just send us swooning. Which in turn leads to sinning. We can't figure out why men would walk around flaunting such things in our faces!

Just last week I saw a man with a broad back, a nice-fitting t-shirt that showed his broad back , and when I looked at his hands, he had them decorated with a watch and ring , his jeans fit perfectly to his trim hips and thighs. He smiled at me as I walked past and his Even and straight and whiter than white. I could tell he was wearing lip balm because his lips were full too. He probably used the excuse of "dry lips" but we women know he does that so we'll look. WHY WHY WHY would he do that? Why would he go out in public just to stir us women up like that? He has got to know he's asking for it dressed like that. Women WILL hit on him. How can we not? He clearly is dressing and grooming to get our attention. And biblically speaking , that just isn't right. I could pull dozens of scriptures that show a man should only do those things for his wife.

Which brings me to bathing suits. The way those boxer shorts sit on low on those trim hips? Yum. ohmyohmyohmy. Something needs to be done about that. Not even a shirt to cover your nipples. And then you have to do some sort of sport to show your athletic prowess. Either volleyball or surfboarding. We see you. We watch you. We like it and you know it. We see you strut your stuff. All to get us riled up and make us “stumble.”

In the end the men are only hurting themselves by grooming and dressing fashionably. Sooner or later they will be hurt by the way they've been treating themselves. Let us women help you repent from your flashy, flirty ways. Let us teach you how to dress so we won't 'stumble' and stare. Sure it may not be as quirky , fun and individual , but that's okay....because you know deep down you want to please us. Your future wife will thank us for teaching you how to dress modestly.



Ben said...

1) Welcome back to the land of the blogging! Good to hear from ya.

2) I still remember thinking the "dress modestly so men don't stumble" teaching was really odd back at a teen summer camp. They divided us, boys and girls for some gender-specific teaching. I don't even remember what they taught us boys, but I remember asking the girls what they were taught and one of them told me that "dress modestly so men don't stumble" line. Much as I love shirking responsibility as a teenage boy, I still wondered said something along the lines of "um, isn't it OUR responsibility not to lust?"

3) I don't think it would have ever occurred to me to turn that teaching around on myself. Mainly because - before I met my wife - I never really thought of myself as attractive to the opposite sex.

4) This blog post is funny.

Becca said...

Bwhahahaha!! Yeah. I hear you loud and clear. Oh, and it's totally true that guy's hands are a major "stumbling block." Tee-hee. Maybe they should wear gloves. No, mittens. Gloves are too fitted and would show shape.

I like the "respecting yourself as a child of God" reason for dressing modestly myself. It's by far the most objective standard.

Chloe Lane said...

Your world cracks me up.... i mean, seriously? The whole time I read the questions I was thinking, "This can't be for real.."

But on the subject- I once had a Mennonite guy tell me that they would get turned on by a girl's wrists or ankles because its the only skin they ever got to see(wow, you can only imagine how seeing me weedeating in my tank tops, shorts, and boots rocked their world...oops!!) And their women dress incredibly "modestly". Seems like no matter what the woman wears the man stumbles.. seems like a heart issue to me.

Chloe Lane said...

It cracks me up that I always have to post as Chloe Lane.. I can't figure out how to change that... Can you imagine Chloe weighing in on the topic??? haha..

Monica said...

Well, she does an awful lot of running around with her shirt and/or pants off. Probably making someone stumble somewhere... ;-)